Bliss
by Mrs.-Seamus-Finnigan
Summary: **TRIGGER WARNING** : self harm and self mutilation mentioned in this story. I warned you. Luna one shot. Not much to say...


_**Hello Fanfiction...  
**_

_**I know it's been quite a while since I've last updated. And I'm sad to say that I do not plan to continue "Imaginary" any further. I've not only hit a writers block with that story, I've found myself in a dark place right now. I need to sort things out by myself and I do not plan on updating my fanfiction stories anymore for a while. This is just a 'goodbye' oneshot I wrote up really fast when I found the time. Everything that is stated in this story is based off of true events that have actually happened. And, yes, they've happened to me. No, I will not give 'him' in the story a character, because there is no character in "Harry Potter" to fit the man in question.  
**_

_****TRIGGER WARNING** This story does include self-harm/self-mutilation. If this triggers you in any way, please don't continue reading. I don't want to be the cause of your pain.  
**_

_**I just would like to thank you for all of your dedicated reading to "Imaginary". I really appreciated all of the feedback and support I got for this story. I apologize for not being able to complete it. Its a shame, it really is.  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own any "Harry Potter" references suggested in this story.**_

_**This is Stephanie, signing off. For now, at least...**  
_

* * *

_Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me  
Evanescence-My Immortal_

"_Will you be my girlfriend?" _

The question he asked her many months ago still replayed in her head, crystal clear. As if it was only yesterday. The sincerity in his eyes… the tenderness of his words… it tugged at her very being, begging for a yes. And when it came, he was ecstatic. They both were. Two young, naïve teenagers in love- what could possibly go wrong? Everything was perfect. His eyes. His personality. _Him. _Though she knew perfection was only a fabled myth, that very myth reflected itself in him. She finally felt comforted, that someone loved her. He showed it every day. And she loved him, with all of her being.

Until everything went wrong.

Luna never thought she'd feel anything, really. She never thought that after all that has happened; she would ever feel such powerful, heart wrenching emotion. Such emotion, she thought, ultimately leads to nothing but ruin, destruction, and sorrow. Luna felt numb, her whole life. Though a vibrant young woman, her life has brought her nothing but pain. A pain so strong that she ceased to feel anything anymore.

Feelings like love and desire were foreign to her. Almost unrealistic, made up sensations written about it cheesy muggle romance novels about nothing but the longing for one person. Luna never felt that she'd need anybody to make her happy. Happiness was something she'd hoped to achieve on her own. For you can't be happy through someone else.

But in meeting him, Luna felt emotions that she'd never felt before. Love, passion, such emotions were almost overwhelming. She also felt fear; she'd never let anyone so close to her, so close to her core. Luna almost didn't know how to respond to such a feeling. But, she thought that maybe, it was time for a change. To be loved and to love would be a great adventure. An adventure she's seen, and heard, and read about, but never had the desire to find. She was quite possibly excited to feel such emotions, though fear wretched at her heart.

And it was amazing. She finally felt wanted. She finally felt loved. She also loved him. Luna loved him with all of her little, aching heart. The longest (and first) relationship she ever had, brought her nothing but happiness.

Then he left.

And that feeling nearly _killed_ poor Luna. She almost didn't believe it. It didn't feel real. It felt like a dream, as if her subconscious was playing a trick on her. She didn't know if what she heard of saw or felt was real. It couldn't be real! He loved her and she loved him. That's it. But no, he didn't. And he left her, in a hole so deep, she didn't know how to climb out.

Luna was walking down the hallway to the Ravenclaw tower. She was tired, and didn't feel like eating. She never did, anyways. She was startled to hear two people messing around in the hall. The noise seemed to come from around the corner. She walked forward to find _him_ with _her._ Snogging. Luna felt her heart jump into her throat. She almost couldn't breathe. Then, he locked eyes with her. Those perfect, light blue eyes. They were once hers. Hers to look in and see beauty. But now, those eyes haunt her every day. They always seemed to peer into her soul; defying her and making her feel worthless and disposable. He had an emotionless demeanor about him. Luna shed a single tear and turned around. She walked as fast as she could, but soon felt that her knees would give out. So she ran. The sprint gave her a wave of adrenalin and she ran faster and faster until she reached a girl's restroom. She walked inside, and panted. Every short, pained breath brought an equally painful cry of heartache. The tears came and trickled down her face like rain.

Anger took its hold of the young woman. How _dare_ he leave her, make her feel foolish and worst of all? Prove to her that love doesn't exist, people can't ever be trusted, and that no one would ever love her. He only confirmed her fears from the very start. Luna started pacing as the anger filled tears fell from her hurting eyes. She wanted to scream. She wanted to snap his neck, make him feel the pain and entrapment that he brought her.

Luna picked up her fist and slammed it against the old, decrepit bathroom mirror. It left a small mark.

_Not good enough._, she thought. She hit again, with much more force. A larger crack spidered from the original mark.

_Not beautiful enough. _With all of her might, she slammed her arm into the mirror, and it shattered with much noise. Shards of glass flew at her and in all different directions. She felt the stinging pain it brought as it sliced her skin. But it also stung in a very pleasing way. She examined the mess she'd made and looked upon a pile of tiny shards and large shards of glass that covered the sinks and bathroom floor. She bent down and picked up a rather large, very sharp shard of glass.

_This one's for you._

Luna slowly drug the shard across her porcelain skin. At first, it didn't seem to leave any sort of mark. But then, the blood began to flow. It trickled down her pale arm and dripped on the floor. It flowed quick and she liked the feeling. She did it again, this time deeper and harder. The pain only lasted for a minute, then she was greeted by the welcome of her crimson fluid. The blood pooled on her arm, then dripped to the floor. She sat down, and wiped the blood from the cuts. The touch of her finger stung and she winced and drew her bloody finger away quickly. But then she craved the feeling of her self-inflicted pain again, and sliced her arm again… and again and again until she felt what she was waiting for.

Pure, numb bliss.

Luna never felt anything greater. The beautiful, red lines that beheld her being looked so good, so right. She felt nothing but emptiness. She didn't even think of him. All she knew was that she never wanted to let this feeling go. She almost forgot what it felt like, being numb. Before he came, that's what she lived with. When he left, he brought her pain. But now, she's found her way to her normal again.

And this time, she wouldn't let it go again.


End file.
